Sex on a trampoline was so worth getting a mosquito bite on my penis
I hate it when I can only see straight when I close one eye. I feel like that deserts the purpose of seeing with two eyes
The handjob she gave me was better than the best blowjob I've ever gotten.. Just imagine the possibilities.
love being home for thanksgiving just had grandma pick me up from the frat by her house
The security guard told you that the room was off limits and you just looked at him and said,"Its okay, I have a beard".
KEG. KEG. THE OPERA HAS A KEG. KEG STAND IN A TUX. AFTER PARTY RAVE AND KEG STANDS.
And I'm stuck at home while my dad's in vegas hanging out with Zach gali... Zach... That guy from the hangover
I made out with my former step mother's best friend. Only knew the connection when they both showed up together at the bar.
In local news "Man Stabbed With Golf Club" next person who tells me this is a safe place to live gets punched...
If I'm walking weird, don't judge me. Things got kinda outta hand with the GoPro on.
2015 is a year for health and mental stability and alas we are not yet there so yolo
It was crazy man, at one point after already going 3 rounds I tried to breakaway for a smoke...she yanked me by the nipple hair back on top of her.
For a guy who came before his dick was out of his pants, he gave surprisingly good head.
When are you getting back?
Well google maps doesn't have an estimated time for crawling... Could be days
Every time I look at him 'Relax' by Frankie Goes to Hollywood plays in my head. Is that weird?
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