flashcards smell like vodka and my textbook is in the toilet. ready for the final
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
i walked outside and you were driving up the stairs to her apartment
BAHHAHHAHHAHAHHA SOME ASS IS BIYING NE DRHBKS. DRUBK
You strapped the bucket of KFC into the carseat and refused to let me drive over 20 miles per hour the whole ride home. That high.
dude, I convinced you I was your conscience for like 15 minutes last night. you weren't just "a little high"
"Where are you? Where are my keys? What is this guys name again? Why am I wearing two pairs of your pants?"
I was watching porn and wanted to change the tab to another video to cum but I clicked the wrong tab and it was a gif of a dog but I was coming and couldn't do anything so did I jill off to a dog? I feel like I should be guilty
He keeps bees of course he's weird
I hope. Last year I got lost in New Orleans and some guy named Cookie walked me home while I cried.
Also I've accepted I am not going to be a catch today. I look like a dead hooker and the remedial work is going to be patchy at best with the shakes I've got.
I feel like I shouldn't be encouraging my friends to hook up with their teachers.....but if it's for academic reasons....then I definitely encourage it.
He totally just went there for sex cuz he slept in her roommates bed the rest of the night after they were done...
pure definition of booty call.
I wish people could trade lives with me for a day so they could see how much better my life is compared to theirs
If you need me I'll be in the hospital involving super glue and fake eyelashes.
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