He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
You text me last night that you invented a new food. Cheese-less grilled cheese. Congrats, you made toast.
He cummed in my mouth, then said he had to go because his best friend broke his foot falling off of a balcony, put twenty dollars in my hand and was gone before I could even swallow...
can your parents tell?
i just had a cookie in one hand and a phone in the other and tried to eat my phone...they know
there was so much ham clogging the tub drain.. he said it was ok he has a cleaning lady
She just sucked the buffalo sauce out of my beard. I've never been so disgusted and hard in my life.
He made me a period mix..should I back out now?
Some guy is walking around the bar with his dick out. Health code violation?
I really appreciate you zipping up my pants at the bar. You didn't even ruin my Bermuda triangle.
We need to tone down the drinking before our 7pm class. I don't remember receiving any of these handouts.
You fucked him. I baby bird fed him whiskey . I feel like we've bonded.
My ex's new girlfriends ex boyfriend is getting me my nipples pierced for Valentine's Day so who's the real winner here
He pretended his dick was a samurai sword and that he was slaying me with it is it bad I still wanted him to fuck me
Ahha guy saw me buying beer, went "hmmmmm" and nodded his head approvingly. No words exchanged, but he has made his way to my heart haha
I just spent 30 minutes plucking my 2 month grown out pubes with tweezers so I’m hope your night is going better than mine
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