You were right. It hurts to walk today.
U just looked at me and said "wake me up when I'm done eating"
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
Dude that musta been some handjob last night. The sound of her pandora bracelet kept waking me up
can you go into shock from having too many orgasms? i think i went into shock.
I'm slightly possesive over the gucamole when i'm stoned.
Is that why you left peanut shells in my bed?
my revenge plans when i'm high are never as good as i think they are
You just kept walking around saying "my brain is soup" then sat on the kitchen counter washing your feet. You bit the guy that tried to help you down
what a fun peer-pressure-filled weekend
I need a light and a towel. ive got cum in places ive never had cum before.
I'm eating cookie dough with a tongue depressor for lunch.
I haven't lost it. I know I'm not a prophet. It was a joke.
After the edible you claimed you were talking to my cat. We're in our 30s now, what was once cute is now a liability.
so i went over to her house and we played crash bandicoot, ate calzones, and had sex all day. im in love.
Just sent a nude with the caption "seasons greetings from our family to yours"
Flirting with/getting ready to possibly sleep with a married HS classmate and getting added to a bible study group chat within minutes of each other. #Balance
Sadly my Summer of Cocks is coming to an end
Randomize
