This fat girl in front of me just got on the bus to go 2 blocks. Do you think she ever wonders why shes fat?
we made margaritas with slurpies from 7-11 and beer.
I feel like hell. The amount of black beans I found in my hair tells me I hit rock bottom
Please tell me what happened last night... specifically who told me it was a good idea to pee in my shoe.
I just found a video on my phone from last night of you yelling, "you can't fuck me!" at least 20 times
Damn, it's been so long since I had sex I could use the cobwebs from my vagina to decorate for Halloween.
He wasn't lying when he said he was immune to pepperspray. He pretended it burned for like 12 seconds and told the cops he was kidding he was alright. We'll be there soon.
I wouldn't blow him for all the queso in the world.
I'd rather blow that homeless guy who asked me to breast feed him.
Are some dicks heavier than others? Random question as I'm feeling mine.
I almost just texted "I'm lonely" to my gynecologist.
OK. i'm going to add "riddle me this, brodawg" to the list of things i'm never gonna say to my boss again while i'm high.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
i'm covered in glitter and body paint WTF
We're showing the video later bring pizza
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Just ordered a pregnancy test off amazon. Fuck 2019
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