yeah it's now facebook official. i can no longer pretend shes my girl on the side
every time I hook up with him I think about the fact that penicillin was a mistake too... and look how well that turned out. It makes me feel just a little bit better.
hahaha! you have a girlfriend
tell that to the new girl at work who i screwed on the washing machine today...
I just watched 2 blind guys walk into each other head on in providence. It pays to pregame in your car.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
when i'm drunk i think im just gonna point at him and yell adultery is a sinnnn. youre going to helllll
the bar tender told me i could keep an air matress in the backroom.
hey give me heads up if you're feeling vulnerable tomorrow night
Yeah, you gave me a condom that I 100% coulda used, then an hour later you basically beat the shit out of me and physically took it from my pocket.
State dependent memory. I just needed to feel my teeth. It was like a fog was lifted.
Listen you let me know what you're doing after drinking rum punch all morning
Just heard a girl ask "Wait you're not my boyfriend?!" to a guy wearing the Mickey to her Minnie Mouse on my way home. Made me feel better about myself.
How does one go about breaking up with their bf on vacation?
How is it??
I'm drinking Gatorade out of a champagne flute.
I think I’ve been affected by his dad mustache. I wanna ride it.
Randomize
