does it still count as break up sex if it's 4 months later? sorry i'm just looking for an excuse to fuck him.
Im dating a 38 year old who's lap I can fit in. Tell me I don't have daddy issues.
I'm hungover and surrounded by children and Republicans. What did I do to deserve this?
She called me her guardian angel after I picked her phone up from the river of pee coming from her front porch.
We're 17 hours into a 3 day weekend, and he's already shitfaced. He fell of the dock TWICE and insisted on wearing a life jacket on dry land.
For the record you were pretending you were in a rocket when you drove from wawa to your house. So like 2 minutes of me listening to you making rocket sounds over the phone lmfao
I feel like I was dropped out of a helicopter. Through the propeller.
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
He took initiative. Dragged me into the kitchen and did me on the stove....while it was on! And then we made nachos.
fuck off. It's 10am and I'm drink gin and ginger ale through a twizzler straw. My life is marvellous
I was in the rappers prayer circle. Then they're blunt circle
We're friends with benifits... The benifits being I'm fucking her boyfriend
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
I feel like a dancer trapped in the body of a math instructor. Love, Mom
Sitting on my couch watching TV in my underwear drinking a bottle of wine.... and you want to interrupt me to come pick you up. No I will not do it.
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