took 5 apple pie shots. caution: flames. not digestable.
Eating hibachi. The chef is squirting sake into my mouth with a ketchup bottle. Happened twice, more to come.
she was carrying the quesadilla around the bar like a security blanket
I know I'm all grown up when I don't have to take my pregnancy test in the store bathroom anymore.
Dude feel your hair right now it feels so weird like pasta
So what do you think the policy is on vomit in rental cars? do I have to clean that up or is that part of the service I'm paying for?
BEER BONG IN THE STOCKROOM COME IN TO WORK TODAY
We were showing our tits to everyone because it's breast cancer awareness month and we care deeply
I thought we were doing it cause it's Tuesday
Correct me if I'm wrong, but did you let me pee in the grass while barking? And also, how many of you have videos?
I told my doctor about us having twin chlamydia
Your mom won me $100 and you showed me your tits. Solid evening.
this night may include but is not limited to : police encounters, wild animals, stomach pumping, and waking up in a field
We are not having sex in the fucking kindergarten
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
Randomize
