Just had to reach into my sister's bag and shut off her vibrator so my parents wouldn't hear it. I am the world's greatest brother.
omg so im topless lying on my bed and i forgot my nail clippers are on my bed and i just leaned forward and the nail clipper closed. on my nipple. ouch
you kept slapshing your drinks on people saying the power of christ compels you.
It's weekends like this that make it obvious why we have to pay to come to college.
dude last night I threw my weed into my back yard. there is now a foot of snow. after an hour I found my weed. if I put that effort into school, i'd have a 4.0.
At least the cops kept you away from sleeping with her. Protect and Serve.
But life isn't just all about getting drunk & eating chicken strips.
My vagina and my morals are playing tug of war
it was a frathouse cornucopia of foul mixed drinks and "sangria", which im convinced was blood and pcp
For once I am not in the mood. My vagina is good with life at the moment.
The apocalypse has arrived.
I've never seen an uncircumcised penis. I mean in person. I've clearly seen an uncircumcised penis. I have the google.
i mean i'm drinking free wine with lesbians and listening to sinead oconnor so i'm not sure who won that breakup
Don't masturbate while listening to Pandora. Just came during a buffalo wild wings commercial and I feel really weird about it.
You're not talking any sense into me. You're cheering me on to disaster.
... is that not half the reason I'm your best friend in the first place?
It got weird the panthers lost and we started throwing wings at one another
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