Is it a little weird that I have a ridiculous urge to have sex while the theme song to the Pirates of the Carrbibbean blares in the background?
I just put on my hot pinky lace thong... you know what that means! ;)
Oh god. Slutty you is on the run. Someone needs to alert the city.
Just saw a guy wearing pink jeans and i bet he's straight. Fuck 2009.
Dude I totally just watched a girl put a tampon soaked in vodka up her vag
I need new friends
I really super glued a paper bow tie to my body last night. I need to do less drugs.
in respone to your voicemail you left me on saturday, yes i had gone to bed and no i was not still drinking at 5am
Your 'drink of the future' makes sense now- you feel it for atleast 10 hours into the future
On a lighter note, my mom and I were playing scattergories, and for "things that you keep hidden" we both put dildo. Proof that we really are related.
you did a full monologue with your sober self last night. different voices and everything.
So on a scale from 1-10 how gross is it that I used mortuary makeup on my own face?
You're more than welcome to join us! There's red velvet cake and apparently my pants are open for business I didn't consent to this
Would an open wound count as good sex or bad sex?
I FOUND A VIBRATOR IN MY BABY BROTHERS ROOM. IM FREAKIN OUT MAN ITS BIGGER THEN MINE
put it back and chill out ok
NO FUCK HES 15 WHO EVEN SOLD HIM THAT HES A BABY
I’m doing tequila shots with lesbians. This isn’t how I planned my night but I’m not complaining
can we do this tomorrow? ...i accidently got high.
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