im pretty sure i tried to attack the vending machine last night
lol who won
well im in the hospital right now so u tell me
Definitely just saw the guy I went on a date with Friday night dressed in medeival knight gear on the quad preparing for battle. Oh my God.
New beer pong partner names "Bus Boys" ... We clear tables
This girl would not stay down. It was like night of the living dead. She kept on rising up to haunt anything with a penis
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
Excuse me, but I got friendzoned and all I could think about was the fact that I didn't have my underwear back on yet.
Hey I'm sorry for head butting you last night. Personally I thought it was funny at the time, but I can see how from your perspective it may not have been as enjoyable for you... Hope your lip is okay.
Someone explain why I'm twerking in my bathroom right now before a charity run
You know your horny when you have a sex dream about Ace Ventura, if your wondering he's awful
what do you mean i can't make cookies with a blow dryer? challenge accepted.
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
Sorry. We had to leave because I knocked a guy out for saying "yolo".
Did a 4 pm walk of GLORY the next day.
It's been a week I should not still be finding glitter in my pants.
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