The answer is no. Its an illegal search n seizure!
how did your night go?
he asked for my myspace name.
I may have been hammered and in a wheelchair but I definitely remember asking the hospital reseptionist to marry me
I keep getting texted pictures of my husband with other men. I can't figure out if he wants a divorce or a threesome?
I don't have a choice really. It's either lose 15 lbs by Halloween, or I'm going as a giant banana.
Also, we should really buy some bandaids. Right now I'm using toilet paper and scotch tape, but I don't really think that's sanitary.
I swear 95% of pictures on my phone are from drunken nights I don't remember with me doing a peace sign alone in somebody's bedroom.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Found my underwear in a solo cup. That about sums up this weekend.
All I've been thinking about for the past 12 hours is sex and SEAWORLD
Just saw a man in a motorized chair roll by drinking a beer. It's 9:45 AM. I love Louisiana.
I don't know bro. If a girl makes you cum hard enough that you pull a back muscle, she might be the perfect one to call for a massage on said muscle.
This is like the first time all week I've properly taken my birth control. My ovaries are so stoked I just know it.
Woke up. Found about 20 condoms upstairs. A hole in the couch. Bread on the floor. Going back to sleep.
one of my coworkers asked me if I was PMSing today...... excuse me sir, but it is none of your business as to what my uterus is or is not doing right now. fucker.
and yea, I'm PMSing.
Randomize
