I have a pretty basic diameter of my vaginal abyss. I'm sure it won't hurt.
Btw the nut in my hair goes great with my outfit !!! :(
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
One of my residents in my hall just found my positive pregnancy test from last year I hid behind the fridge, I'm just going to tell them it was for a science project.
running late. just ran over a dude on a bike
I reached in my backpack to pull out my laptop. I found my bottle of Jack and 2 bottles of Coke. It's going to be a good class.
My date keeps hitting on your friend. Had no expectations, but not a real confidence booster.
He played the same pre-sex songs as his brother...
I found a phone book at the party and started calling everyone with my last name asking if they wanted to form a club. I'm meeting one for brunch tomorrow...
This conversation has now reached a level of awkward that even a passerby streaking hobo couldn't break.
Quote of the night award goes to my father "I like wearing my swim trunks around the house because they are cooler and more blousy for my balls". Yay dad
I'm getting turned down for sex. Apparently my "sexual appetite" cannot be satiated even by a man who's such a deviant he went to prison for jerking off in his car.
Now it's a thing. He's kind of a creeper and now he's lotioning me. This is going to turn into a Buffalo Bull situation.
so i might have slept on your bathroom floor last night...
My bald co-worker just chugged a literal gallon of coffee. My condolences to his kidneys.
Randomize
