I don't think the people up for their 8am class were as impressed with how many beads i got last night as we were.
We got them high and they had an hour long debate on the best way to get cum out of eyes.
you better fuck at least one or both of them.
Did i throw a brick at someone last night?
weed salsa. i deserve a nobel prize
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
And with me just getting pulled over and you maxing your card out on tennis balls I don't know if we can afford it
I fed him pizza in bed. I'm probably the best one night stand ever.
WHAT IS PROPER BONG ETIQUETTE FOR WHEN YOU'RE ALONE IN YOUR BATHTUB AND CRYING?
I woke up naked on my couch playing a video game I thought I had dreamed about... oh yeah, and someone cut my hair.
My phone autocorrects "pooping" to "popping" and I'm like DO YOU EVEN KNOW ME??!
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
Best day ever, my junk is bigger than Kate Uptons boyfriends. Yay for Fappening day!
JUST BECAUSE I LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED DOESNT MEAN IM GOING TO LIKE TO BE TIED UP AND SPANKED AT WORK
We didn't get home until 4 am. Her mom let us in, confessed that she had sex with someone she worked with and said he had a small penis. I love this family.
Your mom has reinvented the use of a ping pong ball.
Randomize
