oh no, I think we did it in the 'front asshole'
Not a fireman, but good enough for last night.
dude i woke up to her making a statue of my morning wood for her sculpture class. HOW THE FUCK do you think i feel about her?
you're just mad because in the hogwarts world I'm Harry and you're Ron. get over it.
He asked what my name was on facebook chat. IT SAYS RIGHT THERE. i will never be drunk enough for this guy.
dad just smoked me out. he's yelling at room service for not giving him cookies and milk with his towels...we're both too high to know if thats a legit complaint.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
he just made me do "this little piggy" to his toes.
He passed out. Woke up long enough to declare himself "the sauce boss" and then bit me in the face.
Seriously, I'm ready to settle for ugly and unemployed as long as he has decent hygene and likes to go down.
Returning my drunken purchases from last night. Not a single thing I bought was on sale.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
just in the smoking shack with my sister cheering on a caterpillar make its cocoon
Can't decide if it was more awkward buying sheets together or disposing of them afterwards
I'm glad you found someone that both loves you and is cool doing coke off your tits. Proud of you.
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