you may be an alcoholic when your drug dealer calls to yell at you for drinking too
Fire inspection over. Blunts are OK
the recent google searches were "were can i buy a porn horse, why does my heart hurt after drinking, and orlando's teen night..." your thought process perplexes me
SEE! I KNEW I HAD A LONG-TERM REASON FOR BEING A SLUT!
he'll be my respectable boyfriend for tksgiving and i'll be his non-slutty girlfriend for christmas.
and then ....
he stays my gay friend and my parents think i'm not a slut.
Yo send me the pic of me stickn my dick in the paint bucket last night
It's tuesday, which means cocktails followed by cocktales.
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
Just so you know, if you are not feeling well today it's cause you drank a gatorade bottle full of highlighter fluid.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
I talked to the pizza guy for 10 minutes about my truck, I don't even have a truck
He's got the good dick trifecta - flip phone, works outside, bed with no headboard.
So I got a text from him saying "jacking off...thinking of you" I think I'm going to get a restraining order
Bowls and Harry Potter this morning. I guess work isn't so bad after all
He's the first boyfriend I wouldn't cheat on. This is a really big deal for me
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