Dude that chick in the corner just threw up
Hot
U know its gonna be a great day when the guy at the liquor store waves at u cause u walked by
i really wanted you to get laid last night and i didnt think you were going to. so i posted porn on your facebook.it made sense at 3am
I just threw up and a whole piece of spaghetti came out of my nose. I don't even remember eating spaghetti.
My roommate just called. He's in Miami and has no idea how he got there. He also has a ticket to Buenos Aires that he can't explain. I figured you'd have the explanation.
I need to shower. I still have paint on me from the homeless guys
We all told you to throw up but you just stuck your head in the toilet and screamed..
I think that the winner of this years fantasy football league should get naming rights to you child
She's wearing her dead grandmother's pearl on the married finger so no guys "bother her" tonight... I am not THAT committed to Girl's Night.
You need to come back and help me drink our beer so the fridge has room for the other beers
It's Friday the 13th and you just got boned by a guy named Jason....
Way to go. Now you have no beer and I have a cold tit.
I am so sorry. Not sure for what, but whatever I did last night probably merits an apology, so I'm covering my bases.
NO BABIES. YOUR VAGINA WILL BLEED WITHIN A FORTNIGHT.
I can tell just by looking at the wedding photos that the groom has hooked up with at least three of his groomsmen. I would feel bad for her except that she’s hooked up with two of the same ones.
Randomize
