if creeping was an olympic sport, i would be a lock for the gold right now.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
Foreign porn with subtitles is a little disappointing.
he swears he got herpes from a bowl of soup
He is offering to pay me back by sending me a dick pic.
.......................................
My thoughts exactly.
My head weighs 7 pounds. i know this because i spent the majority of the night passed out in the bathroom, using the scale as a pillow.
She just landed. Popped over for a BJ and left. I'm a fan of layover layovers.
So that'd what fifty dollars of chicken at 7/11 looks like. Made it to work on time. Puked twice. BOOM.
yeah, i found the sharpie that everyone use to sign my tits last night. its dead.
So who was trying to make it rain last night in the bathroom? There are pieces of dollar bill everywhere
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
I just tried to get a motorcycle cop to give me a ride....he told me not to ask strangers for rides
I have a bottle of rum in my pocket...what does that say about me...
You come prepared
I'm sober now, I ate a whole cantaloupe.
Bahahah I should. I’m the free range drunk girl who should clearly not be free range because who knows what kind of fuckery I would get into
Randomize
