I dont shave on purpose to keep myself from being slutastic!! it usually works
Bts the comment you were making during that picture was "look we have penises"
It's noon and i am somehow drinking by myself in a jazz tent in broad daylight.
Why is there a living, breathing cow on your front porch?
Would we rather be in rehab with the drug addicts or the girls with low self esteem?
its like she was born with a silver dick in her mouth
I have seen more male genitalia at this party tonight than I ever want to see again in my entire life.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Tomorrow, if I don't look at least 5% better than I do on a regular day to day basis, I want you to hit me and tell me that no one will ever love me if I continue to look like I just rolled out of a cocaine induced hibernation. I'm asking you for tough love.
The guy who just got ate on True Blood had the same balls as you.
Nope we are at the ER my brothers crazyass neighbor kinda stabbed him in the neck. He's gonna be fine.
He fired me, I fucked his wife, we're even I think...
You were laying on the floor coloring a "get well soon' card for your liver...
I just walked in on Joel doing a buck naked tripod headstand in front of the mirror so he could see the bug bite on his balls
Unless you want to see me masturbate, I think skype is a no go for now.
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