hey is it cool if i invite some fat girls to the party so i can be the skinny one?
yeah okay. but if i take one home with me you have to come over in the morning and tell her to get her shit and go.
She asked how far humans have gone into a volcano because they did in spy kids. She was serious.
If i come home from court on friday.. i'm definitely doing something illegal.
There's a difference between southern and inbred. She just doesn't know that yet.
Her life is proof that being a drunken slut will get you places.
#1 RULE OF DRINKING: DELETE YOUR EX'S NUMBER FROM YOUR PHONE
Also, I imagined that his bacne was bubblewrap and that made it much more tolerable
this is the first time i'm angry at someone with so much boobs. she like managed to break my glass and my phone with one glorious swing
Need to spend sober time with him while fully clothed. I can't decide if he's a seriously amazing man or a complete fucking dickbag.
This is me not judging you for what a fine line you draw between the two.
He spent like 5 minutes figuring out how best to position me so I would still be able to watch the game. Maybe there is a benefit to dating a guy who cares about me but doesn't care about my team.
Pretty sure this is the part where you go buy a ring.
It's times when I'm naked but also want to be platonically social that I miss you the most.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Relax
It's hard to relax when a woman is waxing your asshole.
I asked him to have birthday sex with me via xbox live
I forgot to bring soap and all I could find here was body wash. It's like bathing with laundry detergent.
Randomize
