note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
guys are only as good as the porn they watch
I don't remember what your face looks like..
I don't remember your face either, just your dick.
Be honest with Daniel. He was a good rebound to you for nine months and he made it so you could be with the one you really love and care for now. Just tell him thanks and best of luck.
You were throwing ham at people telling them you were the sandwhich fairy
So. Much. Sex. I feel like i ran a marathon then someone kicked me in the vagina. Soo worth it
I'm not entirely sure what we did is legal in the U.S., but I know that couple wont be the same
Her vagina was like a painting you can put your face in.
Lmfao. We asked what you wanted to eat and you said vagina. I don't care what kind. Fresh, barbecue, roasted on a camp fire. I just want it on my taste buds.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
There's times when I need to be plowed... and I'm ashamed to admit auto correct was able to predict that entire sentence.
Note to self: trying to grow pubes back = worst decision of 2014 thus far
We're making a scrapbook of dick pics, you want in or what?
I'm just gonna put on a documentary and throw up
That was the most spiritually awakened shit I have ever taken.
Randomize
