she's walking around the room telling people she can make the room move with her mind and then she shakes her head really fast yelling 'see?!'
I took an adderall but just ended up meticulously arranging my farmville for hours
if i found out she had a dick after i got head, does that still make me gay?
We decided to have a girls night of four lokos, three of us cried and the other puked
He fucked a visibly pregnant girl. It doesn't get weirder than that.
Hardly remember what he looks like and the man has seen me passed out spread eagle. I begin this journey with such a disadvantage.
Considering how much money I just spent on slutty lingerie, it is totally appropriate for me to be plucking my nipple hair right now. Right?
Do you know how to give stiches?
I do not...this text concerns me
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
Omg no. We ate a raw pumpkin last nighr. We dipped it in BBQ sauce.
I'm going to crush up my last 7 Percocets into a fine powder and toss my popcorn in it.
The nice lady at the neighborhood liquor store informs me that we have a new woman-run neighborhood sex shop. Jesus loves me and wants me to have a happy Valentine's day.
6 more days and it'll be a year since i slept with him and never went home
Im so sorry for peeing on your chest.
It's taking all of my will power not to chug this margarita. This must be the life of an adult...
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