Getting food. Want anything?
Vagina. Double meat no buns. I have the secret sauce
I'm not saying he was bad at sex, but I'm pretty sure I anti-climaxed.
i only shaved half my leg
on purpose
NEWS FLASH: A bottle of wine can fit into a taco bell cup.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
That's because you're a slut. A slut fucking a fence.
I actually had fun getting arrested. That high.
Blacked in riding a tandem bicycle with a stranger. We stopped for hot dogs.
I have fiberglass splinters all over my hands and woke up with a sign that says PUMPKINS in my room.
I was running around taking people's drinks at the bar and just dumping it into my Gatorade bottle screaming roofies.
How do you say "get out of my apartment" in Spanish. No time to explain, just tell me.
There is nothing more embarrassing than your birth control alarm going off while in a meeting with your boss and they tell you to take it.
The best part of Easter was watching all his colorblind cousins try to find the eggs.
I used an explanation of Walking Marriages in the Mosuo Culture to successfully negotiate an open relationship. That Anthropology degree is finally starting to pay off.
Maybe it’s too soon to casually tell the boss that I went to Tulsa for some dick last night
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