ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
If I say "It's good enough" and I'm not talking about a sandwhich, that's your queue to stop me, you're supposed to be my friend.
we're making bets on your personal life
I'm not gonna not go for it, she's foreign and pulled a shotglass out of her thong.
high as fuck. watching parent trap with my mom. keep missing my mouth.
Cavemen vs astronauts. weapons to be determined. Who would win?
surprisingly organic peanut butter is not the best chaser
Ok I have to ask, whose idea was it to used crushed up norcos as margarita salt? And what did they say to convince everybody else to think it was a good idea?
Sitting in airport bathroom. Guy walks into toilet next to me and announces "I want to apologize to the entire airport for what I'm about to do"
Not sure how a movie about Jesus has managed to make me feel insecure about my boobs but it has.
You played Frank Sinatra today after we had sex. You moved way up in my literal book of men. Congrats.
Last year I got a dildo in the mail on my birthday. Today it was just a credit card bill. Sadface.
WE HAVE WINE WHERE ARE YOU GUYS WE ARE BY THE GIANT EAGLE
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
Basically, I am an endless fountain of unconvential sexual experiences and knowledge.
Randomize
