i wish swine flu would become a total pandemic so we cld be rid of all the people that are complaining about it
Just woke up naked in my storage cubby and some one rearragned my whole room?
no jk, not my room
worst 3rd wheel sitch ever. i'm crammed into a booth with him and chubs mcgee and his hand is between her legs. thank youuu karma.
There's some strange man with hair that keeps talking to us. I'm scared.
This is how horror movies start. Going to bar with strange hair guy. He's paying. Bad idea?
Ditched hair man. Got free cab ride to market. Want food. I win.
I'm not working tomorrow. need to take advantage of the last opportunity for weeks of morning sex.
He just did blow off my nipples. He's not serious about his girlfriend.
she made out with a stripper. how was scrabble night with your girlfriend
We could supplement the Tour with Edward Andre-hands. Because 40s are for the 99%.
You are number one in my heart. But in the dick Olympics you're disqualified.
I sliced my fucking arm open last night after margarita madness and had to drive myself to the ER. Got six stitches and a social worker came in and asked if I was abused due to my sex bruises. I literally had to tell her "don't worry, I like it rough"
The only thing I remember last night was feeding my dog 4 McDoubles.
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
I feel sorry for the person who's phone number is 704-1776 cause from now on I'm giving that number to every guy I never wanna talk to again. Happy Independence Day
WHY THE FUCK DOES RICKY'S BROTHER GET AN ENTIRE POT OF PASTA FOR BEING SHIRTLESS AND ALL I GET IS ARRESTED?!
Thanks. I just smoked a bowl topless so I'm in heaven right now.
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