what, no i told him that it wasnt nessesary to put all 5 fingers in my vagina
he kept kneeing me like he was playing footsies... only then i realized it was his dick.
The sex was so good, I called my ex during the 2nd time just so he could hear. Is that mean?
just thinking about him makes my vagina shudder.
currently hungover, lying in bed and cutting cheese with my drivers license. ashamed? not even a little bit.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
so how was last night?
got high and had our usual talk about the definition of cole slaw. then tried to call the ramen noodle company and convince them why my face should be on thier packages.
I just paid a homeless man $20 for the dragon ball Z shirt he was wearing. I need to stop drinking
This drunk girl wants you to know that I do actually like you. I'm not just using you for sex. I think you're cool.
After I was arrested and in the back of the squad, she lit a cig. I politely stuck my head through the glass opening and asked for a drag. She instantly slammed my head back, blew smoke at me and shut the glass. My view on state trooper chicks is forever tainted.
He had a step stool to get in to his bed!
He said he looked out his window and I was sitting in the grass with blood everywhere talking to a dog.
Last night was great... In the "I got videotaped making out and getting a handjob on the couch in front of 100 people." kinda way.
This Asian instant coffee I found in ur kitchen is like crack. Who knew I could feel my heart beating in my asshole after one cup of this happiness.
A total of 3 guys left my apartment this morning. That was my first clue to my black out endeavors last night. Gotta love wine Wednesdays.
Randomize
