I just drove by a church. On the sign out front was written 'crocodile cock'. On both sides.
You keep saying things....but all I'm hearing is kegs
At this point the smell of shame has become my natural musk
Its ok. Im having a low day. About to mix cake mix with milk and drink it.
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
Is it rude if I don't go?
No. It is not rude if you don't go to her cat's Star Wars themed birthday party.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
Who'd have thought a guy with a lisp would be so good with his tongue?
Getting high in the car with mom and the aunts during intermission for drag queen bingo. Details later.
The other day, he sent me a snapchat of his dick in the forest. He captioned it "nature nudes."
Mom told me you snuck booze into a concert in a cheez its box...I have never been prouder to be related to you
he came to me for relationship advice and we ended up fucking in my backseat
Also, my guy said they would be around. And i clarified that when I asked him for mushrooms he didn't hear "a mushroom or two" but rather understood I meant "all the mushrooms you can find between now and 4th of July."
I have mystery bruises on my right knee, right arm, under my chin, and on my forehead. What the fuck happened last night??
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
