so that wasnt chicken after all
He started yelling "fuck the environment" then puked all over the baby trees
I guess you can say it's a tradition... whoever brings home the ugliest guy has to do all the cleaning the next day
So I woke up today with someone's door knob in my pocket. I hope everbody else got out of the house ok.
I hope he's okay, but I also hope he shows up with an eyepatch
I will now refer to my life as before and after I used Astroglide for the first time
Don't mean to be rude. But did you, by any chance, cut down a tree from my neighbors backyard last night? And did you also drag it to my yard and burn it?
As added birth control I warned him that if he knocked me up tonight I would name the baby Truck.
Reunion weekend was a success. Had 3 ex's inside my vag. Hat trick!
Sex in the moonbounce later?
This is why I love you.
The impromptu 'dance party' was just three white dudes flailing arrhythmically in the kitchen in absolute silence. Stone cold sober.
Remember when we used to smoke out of an apple at the playground? Those were some precious moments
I had sex in the tube at that same playground once. That park is full of memories.
As I took my shirt off he commented on how great my boobs where. I responded with "thanks, I grew them myself"
We walking to the game and some random guy came up to to me and yelled "hey you're the whiskey guy!" And then high fived me then walked away
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
Randomize
