I took off my bra and money fell out...how crazy was I tonight?
is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
sometimes i wish i was the girl in a porno. that way if i couldn't get any, i'd just order a pizza and do him.
Do the low cut shirt test. If he stares at your tits even in front of your brother, he's down.
he proceeded to grab my vagina through my leggings in the middle of the dance floor. strangely enough I was okay with it
I think it was clear she was setting us up when she brought me over to you and said "Present!"
Blocking me on Facebook doesn't change the fact that you've had my penis in my mouth. So there's that.
So it's ironically funny that my psychiatrist's office and my cocaine dealer's house are on the same street
Was just told that I slept on the counter using a loaf of bread as a pillow. Clearly my life is going well.
Funny you say that, I just sold my stripper pole to my mom tonight...
Enough talk of my burning loins. How is your day?
Oh man I missed being single! Two different guys just sent me dick pics during my kid’s little league game.
My dad is sitting where you rode me
I woke up with pitch black feet and crushed doritos around my mouth. That's how I determined how my night went
I totally fucked your pastor last night.
You're his wife.
Still a dirty get down.
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