sorry about last night, sometimes people just get drunk and have sex witht heir friends
I know, I was there.
sometimes i wonder what i would do without sheltered catholic girls w/ overprotective parents
never have sex?
I told my boyfriend my favorite food was strawberry poptarts, now my email inbox is getting spammed with nude pics of him with his dick in a poptart box..
We're having the conversation about what happened last night, all we can come up with is that we came home, drank two litres of lemonade, I took one of her seizure pills and we fell asleep with sabrina the teenage witch on
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Driving a mountain pass in the middle of a blizzard with the worst vodka gummybear hangover ever is gods way of telling me to keep the black-outing within a 15 mile radius to my house.
honestly i just want a cigarette and someone to go down on me... are you interested in helping with either of those
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
Dude, all I know is that I came out of this thing wearing a snorkel mask and completely covered in glitter and soap.
I swear going to your house is like going to a strip club, no matter what happens I get glitter on me.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
He's been pretending to be gay for 3 months in order to get free weed.
HE PUT A HOLE. IN. MY. HOUSE!!!
Please tell me I did not drink enough whiskey to think that having sex with my boyfriend while his best friend was on the floor next to us was a good idea.
would it be awkward if i bring my husband?
only if i fuck you in the bathroom while he's paying the check
Randomize
