This last weekend single handedly took me off the liver transplant list
Yeah she is in it for the money, wait til she finds out i am broke and the sex doesnt get better
look, i dont wanna be "that girl" but if someone offers me coke in exchange for sex, i cant say no.
and honestly how many chances will you get to hook up with a one armed guy?
Is it possible to just pretend that everything we did after grilling up your goldfish didn't happen?
Hardcore start to spring break. Mike is wearing adult diapers because the only stop we are making is for gas.
He said, "cum on daddy's dick!" ... I pictured my dad. That just scarred me for life.
A nap. You broke your hand napping in Vegas.
Trying to figure out if the guy I'm with right now is the same guy I met spring break
Oh duude it is the guy from spring break! Awk.
Who knew that the guy I fucked on your front lawn during welcome week freshman year would turn out to be my husband
Also my bed has glitter in it for reasons I do not recall
Is Facebook telling the truth about your nipples?!
and then after the older sorority girl asked me his name she said "he gave me the rest of his mcdonalds and I decided to go home with him. it was the best that I could hope for my night"
a reward? ill think of something
if its not drugs or food I swear to god ill throw a fit
God gave you your own nipples for a reason.
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