I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
Oh fyi, I gave your card to a homeless guy last night and told him you were the world's hottest blonde girl who only likes black men...Sorry
You don't understand, Single Ladies is like the Don't Stop Believing of the gay community.
the amount of blow i got, New years should last a week.
Life after highschool has not been kind to her. She looked fatter than Luke Wilson's face in those AT&T commercials.
so she bought me lunch gave me a blowie then paid for the gas since I drove... I think there's a catch but I'm gonna run with it
12 trash cans filled with water. Beer cans floating in each, 12 ft apart. Dodgeball. Ultimate beer pong.
Rules. We have to wear superhero outfits
Tried to dry my shoes in the oven last night.
It was like an alcohol war zone and you left a soldier behind.
Heb just said, and I quote, "let's go to Who's On Third and fuck a fishbowl with our mouths. I am going to fuck this van." and then he humped a van.
just passed the gas station where we took pregnancy tests. memories.
If a treadmill opens up I'll run next to him and then fall off so he has to give me mouth to mouth
Thank you for listening to my rant about tacos.
That awkward moment when the guy you were hitting on at the bar last night is a possible suspect in a murder case.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
Randomize
