Did u pay ur friends to not make fun of me?
i either just walked in on pete wacking off to webmd or he was checking his dick for herpes
Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
the campus cop used the word depravity in our citation.
Just headbutted a photographer. This convention just got really interesting.
Oh my god. He likes it up the butt. But loves womanly support. Omg. Its bad. Its bad. Ive had too much whiskey for this to be ANYthing except bad.
Fyi your toilet is not contaminated. We'd have to scissor pretty hard to pass what I got.
Apparently I still called the officer "sir" despite the fact I was at a .21 BAC. Southern girls are raised right
Brb crying the tears of my youth
Do not take the D yet, he needs to be worth it. Your Vagina is GOLD.
That awkward moment when your drug dealer pulls your boss out of the snow
3 cups of coffee and some molly. The "Tay's Day Off Diet"
wait he has a twin??? which one did you fuck
yes
I threw up in the middle of a bar last night and still managed to get laid! Happy thanksgiving!
chipped my right front tooth on a toilette. i figure if i keep drinking i won't care for at least 2 days
Randomize
