But do you think a lot of ppl use facebook as a masturbation supplement to porn?
Let me make clear that I am not a facebook masturbator
you refused to leave the drive-thru at mcdonalds until the cashier took a jello shot
Tell us when you see the semi truck on fire.
i've decided to use this saturday afternoon to take care of my pube situation
I had to go to the front counter of the restaurant and ask for the key because I was "pretty sure my friend is passed out in the bathroom right now"
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
He panicked, you ducked and I was coming off a 3 day coke binge. It was no one's shining moment.
You need to come over. I cant get her to stop eating honey mustard straight from the squeeze bottle
ROOF CAVED IN, WE'RE GUNNA MAKE A WATERSLIDE
Mike showed up naked and in handcuffs. Again. Feel free to come over and laugh because I'm not helping this time.
First time since we broke up that I'm not drunk before noon...win for broken hearts everywhere
Anyways, he came over at 3:30 am and ate me out while I ate pizza on the counter
I did cocaine off my boobs last night. Then I wrote two essays and went on a run. Go me
Why did u text me "I want to get drunk and go to pizza hut tomorrow. don't let me forget." at 3am??
That text was pretty fucking self-explanatory, man.
We're pretty sure we got naked at Pride, so running the two blocks to your place in my underwear is a step up the dignity ladder really.
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