he was in the bathroom singing "will it floooaaat?? will it floooaaat?!" turns out that's a deal breaker for me.
my tits taste like a pina colada. how often do you get to say that?
well after he sqeezed a zit off his forearm i got the hell outta there
The mystery has been solved. Seagulls have sex doggy-style.
He's bringing condoms over for me in case we "bone".... the fact he calls it boning is not a great start.
The fire breather is here so I may get my second wind.
in my defence, i did try to get you to put your shirt back on, then you screamed at me to stop telling you what to do
I was just told that i'm a premature cuddler. . . What does that even mean?
Whatever it is you failed
Well it involved jumping two nine foot fences. But when you mix alcohol and persistence you can't lose.
So high I started crying because I was proud of Snoop Dogg for becoming Snoop Lion
On the 3rd day, she mixed sangria and orange juice and saw that it was good.
We're Scorpios. We're like dogs rolling in whatever smells good to us.
i don't know if this is a cannibal joke or a sexual innuendo, and i think that's a beautiful description of our relationship.
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
I tried eating pop-rocks while giving him a bj, I honestly think I was more disappointed with the results than he was.
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