you guys were way drunker than both of me
THAT'LL be a good time.
and i don't know why my phone always capitalizes that word.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
I think he may have overheard our "how much coke would you fuck me for" conversation last night...
when you agree to fuck a guy it does by NO means make it okay for his roommate to hide in the closet with doritos and watch
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
The dopest dose you'll ever dose. I felt like an octopus all of thursday
This bitch rocks a fuckin fanny pack and still manages to lose her phone at every thirsty thursday
The cleaning lady has a form she makes me sign every time she finds me passed out in my office so she can keep track of how much to charge me each month for keeping quiet about it.
they asked me about my neuroscience major and I said 'the brain is the outer space of the body' and passed out. it appears my ivy league education is not going to waste
Let's be honest dude, you almost cried when I gave you a handy, you are not ready for a relationship, I knew this.
The best part about theater chicks is nothing is too cliche or out of line. I just fucked her Braveheart style in my entry way while saying goodbye.
just answer this one ? for me. why is there human shit in my shower right now?
I'm unsure if I could pee myself at this point in my life
Guess who cheated on their SATs? Also on the same line guess who's getting in to Princeton at damn near free of charge?
Randomize
