The lesbians are drunkenly meowing in the hallway again. This is the shit I'll miss at home.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
She was so adorably desperate I didn't have the heart to tell her I wasn't a lesbian. So now She's making waffles, may switch teams over this.
just left a line of flour and citric acid on the dresser for my roommate to find. teach that bastard to steal my coke!
I call it my summer of slut; except summer lasts from May until December. It's been incredibly successful
At what point did you think the cops were actually coming to hang out with us
You cant hold me accountable for my actions when im high.
it's a gatorade, cheez its, and regret kind of morning....
the welcome home hickey he left on my boob is really gunna put a damper on the rest of my thanksgiving hook up plans with the rest of my ex's
Drunk naked twister. My place. Heath is trying to use his dick as a third leg.
im pretty sure the interns at this hospital have gotten hotter
You know you're a heffer when you discover chocolate frosting on your smoking apparatus
Have 7 min to kill while I wait for liquor store to open. Feels really awkward.
I didn't think it was possible but he dislocated his thumb during intercourse last night then cried
BTW, does Anne know that we used the lipstick she is currently wearing to was used to write the word "ASS" on my ass cheeks last night?
At some point the phrase "I've hit rock bottom" stopped having a meaning and became my general state of life
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