loyola was giving a tour this morning and they all saw me in a half ripped off toga throwing up over the side of the dorm stairs
you don't even go to loyola anymore
Pretty sure I only gave out my other # though. You know, 777 777-7777
Hahaha. So was it a Freudian slip, or wishful thinking? ;)
Could be either seeing as you're in my phone as "3rd bar" and I couldn't pick you outta a line up.
standing in the yard with no pants on waiting for google maps to come and take a picture.
she was rubbing her elbow against the fish tank and laughing hysterically then she said I'M THEIR FISHY GOD and watched harry potter
If I die tonight and was cremated, you could probably get high off the smoke.
I think they took out their livers years ago and replaced them with like cheese graters or something. Only explanation.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Sometimes you just gotta fuck a has been local celebrity for your 15 minutes.
he had a Pillsbury dough boy tattoo to remind him of his drug dealing days
Happy anniversary, did you sign and mail in the divorce papers yet?
Come on, will you just fuck him so we can watch Star Wars.
Dicks are not precious.
I think I'm pregnant again.
or as we call it, thursday.
i now regret my decision on turning down your offer of sex in the backseat
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
Randomize