His pubic hair was longer than his dick
Just woke up and stopped at the WaWa in Virginia. Had major morning wood and didn't try to hide it when walking around. So many awkward stares.
She threw up everywhere and is crying about a fictional character who died on Grey's Anatomy
the ladder is at the bottom of the pool
My grandpa is giving me detailed instructions on how to fight a second floor bedroom fire from a ladder on the out side. Just in case
Dude he fell into my wall and left an imprint then decided to have sex with the door open. Vents carry noise pretty well
My dad just told me I can't passout in the driveway after the 4th of July parade this year, again
He's not drinking on his 21st. Shooting vodka infused Nerf bullets at him would just make a mess and I don't want to be a creep and spike anything... I don't understand awkward boys
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
dude wtf why are there forks in my wall
does "I AM MAGNETOOOO" ring any bells, because that was you for an entire hour last night
Ya, It's probably because whenever I close my eyes I see a kitten playing a banjo.
Drunk. Send nudes. Just curious.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Who brings a stripper to breakfast at the dining hall? What was the plan? Impress her with his meal plan?
Did I honestly think it was a good idea to wear my pink robe out in public at 2 in the morning ?
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