I just farted for five sidewalk sections! New personal best.
im giving 12 year olds life advice. this is probably illegal somewhere.
I'm watching ellen!
just because im gay does not mean you need to notify me every time you watch the ellen degeneres show
He doesn't like you, he likes u not having a gag relfex
His hands were made for my vagina.
she just walked in and said "well, I got peed on again"...
I mean... It's a win/win situation. I mentor the kid for an hour and then I get to fuck his mom. I know deep down I'm helping them both
No it's cool, He's been doing my English papers in exchange for lap dances since the eleventh grade. We're very professional.
Was it a good night or a bad night when you have to apologize to someone the next day for trying to fuck them with a turtle?
I have to finish a biography for history and write a review on it so naturally I was like "getting high will make this more bearable" and now I'm basically inside the book at the revolutionary war with this guy.
I think I have to break up with him. I just cried, not moaned, screamed, etc, cried, with tears of sadness and disappointment when I came.
He's talking about feelings now. I don't even know if he came???
We took three cabs to get home, the first one dropped us off a block away, so we went back to the hotel and tried again
he's drunk and referred to his shoes as foot condoms
He was a Cher impersonator. They are the draggest of queens
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