hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He gave me the "I've pictured you while jerkin off" look
Wife passed out. Doing shots with the hot bartender... Don't tell me I don't know how to celebrate a 1yr anniversary
Just threw up in the garbage can outside the liquor store... I'm pretty sure that's some sort of distress signal.
Plus you know he's just 2 semesters and 4 glasses of wine away from "experimenting" with some French major
Never again. I promise. My old gay body can't handle that much adrenaline twice.
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
shes taking the breakup well, i walked in on her naked passed out wearing a turban with a bag of peanut butter choc chips in hand at 5 in the afternoon.
If I had that in my pants Omg I would want a shirt made so everyone knew
I don't even fuck like that, he just happened to be in the right place at the right drunk.
He ate shrooms at 9:30, said, "see you later," and left. I am alone on New Years.
I just blocked a guy on grindr for having a little dick. See? I do have standards.
I mean, unless you wanna just let me lie there while you fuck me and pour water into my mouth
fyi: first time in five days i havent washed my birth control down with liquor. when are we going out tonight?
If u could sum last night up in one word?
omgwtfpineapple
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