I can't tonight. I'm still nursing a beach sex injury. Don't wanna talk about it.
my roomates packed me a lunch. it had bread, cheesewiz, a can of refried beans and a condom with a note that said "good luck on your first day". im not even gonna pretend to be mad.
His little brother just walked in, asked me if I'd blown his brother yet and then announced that he and his friends were going to play outside so we could play too.
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
He goes "sorry was at the gym. Some of us workout " and I wanted to text him back and go "well some of us do occasional drugs so we don't have to"
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
So we were having sex and his roommate walks in eating a bag of chips. Then proceeds to talk to us about his bitch of a professor.
Did he at least offer you guys chips?
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
I thought you wanted to talk?
What part of "Lets have angry sex" means I want to talk?
You can see my drunken state get worse with each picture
is leaving the club to fk in his friends van subtle?
I also love my swipe to text changed a singular vagina to a plural vaginas. like my phone somehow knows I secretly want 2 vaginas
So my POF profile is full of Archer references. Only guys who get them will be getting any response to their messages.
I told him I wanted to get on him and ride him to Montana. It didnt end like i thought it would.
I woke up with your bra on, and some guys boxers. I'm in a random truck, in the middle of nowhere...
Randomize
