WOAH SHIT! That wasn't my girlfriend last night.
we got a new version of the plan b at the pharmacy now. its called next choice. you would think they would come up with better names for these things.
I want a vodka facial right about now. I'm talking about straight vodka bukkake
After we smoked, the cops questioned us but i just asked if he wanted to join our basketball team.
Pretty sure I tied my shoes laces together to keep myself from driving drunk. Fell like six times. Keep forgetting
I just watched dragonflies fucking. You can't match that level of geek.
I go to a class slightly intoxicated and they bring in a baby. What a life.
how does 'resolution to respect myself more' follow 'he fucks me really hard'?
I woke up and he used my makeup to write "hope you don't get pregnant" on my mirror before he left
Exactly. Some of us want to get married. And some of us want to wear sombreros and do cocaine. To each their own.
you know that feeling on acid where you think the world stops just to fuck with you? That's what it felt like.
I may or may not have definitely said the words "how do I put this beer in my purse without looking like an alcoholic" last night.
Did this whole conversation happen while you were shitting?
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I met someone else! And I had a wonderful orgasm! And he wants to see me again, like take me out!
Randomize
