it's 4 am, i'm drinkin beer and re-drywalling my bathroom. this could possibly be a bad idea.
So apparently I told him I was off to go "whore skipping" and I disappeared into the night skipping down the street. I know this because there's video.
so, just learned that EVERYONE heard pretty much everything last night. my roommates were surprised to learn you're a dirty talker.
I just noticed my teeth are no longer straight. Wondering if anyone had an explanation.
i mad aa ber float. budweiser nd ice creem. it amzig.
Nothing says Welcome to America than having the international house watch a sorority girl puke over the edge of the porch at 8am.
Pretty sure I'm taking the break up well. Alcohol made me okay with it and drugs keep me agreeing with why I dumped him in the first place.
OH. MY. GOD. FUCK HIM. JUST GRAB HIM AND FUCK HIM.
My walk of shame this morning would have been much less obvious if it hadn't been 6:30 in the morning and I wasn't walking through downtown Nashville in a Steeler jersey.
You thought you were drunk? I woke up at 6 o'clock this morning with a cheeseburger in my left hand a drink in my right with my window half way down. it was raining.... fml
Just at the gym drinking. We call it treadmillcolada
just sex-dialed 911. that's 34 seconds of dignity i will never get back.
And then I remembered we banged to Beethoven & I was like you will never get this ass again
Just ate Panda Express. Fortune cookie had no fortune in it. I actually prefer this. Less broken dream potential.
Your friend was nice but you didn't have to bang her in my kitchen...just sayin.
Randomize