TXT her NOW! The phone is actually IN her Va-Jay-Jay!!
i literally in my bathroom watching tv from across the hall while trying not to fall asleep with my dog keeping my feet warm. wednesday's shouldnt be like this
Fail #1 I puked off the balcony onto the balcony below us and when I tried to pour water on it in the morning to wash it off it just went all over their deck. Sorry room 1342 but welcome to Jamaica
there's a sledge hammer in the bottom of the swimming pool... so whatever happened last night was probably awesome
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
She just came to my house, with puke in her hair, to wake up my dad and scream "happy fathers day you DILF!" at the top of her lungs
Don't remember shit. It was only until I saw the glaze on my forearm that I knew you drove to get donuts last night. I also spent 20$ there apparently
Her name means "flower that enlarges and gives birth." There is no way she isn't getting knocked up
I had a dream about masturbating with toys I can't afford.
My sex life and finances are equally in shambles.
Well for number 40 i would prefer to at least like the guy attached to the dick
I owe you cheese. The drunk munchies don't acknowledge food ownership.
Also.. The Hobbit does not look like a cartoon. We were just too fucking high.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
All I've done for this 11 hour car ride is kegel and listen to our sex playlist so your dick better be good and ready
If you're signed up as "sober sister" can you do cocaine or nah
Randomize
