I hate your face
apparently the secret to your success is patron
just heard a swedish guy suck in helium and speak in his accent. top 5 favorite moments. ever.
after a month anything with tits is on the radar
if i wake up one more time on my porch im gonna start considering myself homeless
he saw my emergency pass-out-in-the-bathroom-after-drunken-puking cot in the bathroom.
Let's just go topless and paint glitter over our nipples who the fuck cares
My arrest report says I was found in midtown "performing lewd and lascivious acts on top of art meant for public display and enjoyment".
Awk moment when I forgot to tell my hookup about visitor parking so he got towed
Your shirt... Was in my pants
"We drove to the deserted part of the parking lot, and that's where we blew each other. It was so romantic."
Is it weird to befriend your older alcoholic landlords?
After walking ten blocks barefoot in Boston I've concluded drunk me needs to make better decisions.
See I insist I'm not a groupie and then I say things like "will bang for a backstage pass".
Why do I always have at least 8 men with whom I am conducting some sort of poorly planned love experiment?
Randomize
