she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
something came early last nite... and lemme tell u it wasn't christmas...
Princesses don't give blow jobs
I dated that bitch for 9 months and didnt get as much as a hand job. I met her sister last night for the first time and smashed that...twice
I respect that
Coming out of the blackout mid beej was nice. Seeing her face was not.
He returned my car yesterday. Found a duffel bag with beef jerky, condoms, and a handgun this morning. Slightly concerned
Is "when in doubt date the guy with the bigger dick" a good philosophy?
Also, I'm going to yoga because I have a Taylor Swift range of emotions right now.
Can't you just imagine you've grudge fucked me so we can get past this?
So much rum. So many feels.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
Every little girl dreams of the day when she picks up her fuck buddy because he's drunk at the gay bar again.
Again. I'm very sorry I tried to poke your eye out. You've been aware of my inability to aim since day one.
I'll explain later but I just had to legally commit to abstinence for the next 4 months
We are balling out on levels, I think mikes about to go to jail. something to do with a unicorn and rainbows, the cops are not being reasonable.
Randomize
