I like to think it a success when the cops are called
i think i just puked on my phone
we live great lives
At Bonnaroo. Just saw a couple emerge from a port-a-potty. Romantic?
If I wanted to fuck someone, I'd go for John. I'm meeting Bryan cuz I wanna get to know him better. And eventually fuck him. But not this Tuesday.
How many layers of skin can you loose before it becomes bad?
I feel like the way dolphins mate would be the approach that a guy would have to use in order for you to sleep with them
Her one night stand followed us to mass. This is too funny for real life.
Agreed then we'll really be on our A game tomorrow. And by A I mean alcohol.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
At one point she whispered in my ear "I overdrew my bank account today" but besides that it was an awesome lap dance
I'm sorry you're hurting. Would a picture or my erect penis help?
I've broken 3 vibrators in the past month because I apparently am "too rough" with them. Is that even possible?!
Aww well I’m kinda unsober so probably best
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
It’s bad enough my brother slept with half of the sorority this year, but now he’s lifeguarding at the club and every divorcée and cougar in town is asking me for his number. My twin is a manwhore and I’ve become his pimp.
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