Fat lady wearing Shape Up's. I would feel bad making crude comments, but she has to know it's coming.
can't make this up: he's writing lyrics for the musical reenactment of how he met her @ an anime convention to perform at their wedding. yes, there'll also be dance routines involved.
He kept yelling "osteoporosis" and threw milk at her because she broke her arm.
She alternated between blowing me and feeding me bites of the sandwich she made for me.
She crushed my hand with the box spring last time, so it's all good.
Are we playing "how much awkwardness can we fit in the final 29 hours of 2011"?
yes yes we are. Go do something with super glue. i don't want to win.
Sweet. Well pat yourself on the back this penis just burst back into the the game and the vaginas of millions
Dude that chick had a dog in her car. Like when she goes bar hoping so does roofus. He gaurds the car.
You fell asleep on the toilet and he was like uh should I take her off?
She drunkenly dropped her ranch for her pizza. She tried to clean it up with her hands off the street then realized it didn't work and started licking her fingers.
Same I threw up in 3 different cities already today
I just got high and swiffered the bathroom floor....2 for 2 on brilliant life ideas
It began the way the best stories do—with some naïve jackasses in a place they had no business being at.
Am i obligated to tell my sister her girlfriend was my one night stand three months ago?
I did not shave my legs to sit at home and diddle myself. He better wake the fuck up and put the fear of god in me!
Randomize