never try to heat up a hot pocket in the dryer if ur microwave breaks...bad idea.
Why does every girl think its ok to cheat on their boyfriends with me?
How am I a tease?
Dude you flashed me ur vagina and walked away.
ONLY PART OF IT.
Dont even try and act like it wasn't you who made the sex tape of my dogs.
when i spit it made a heart shape. i think it's a sign
The second I saw you stumbling down the stairs in a princess crown, I knew I had a friend for life.
Februarys looking very promising in the vaginal department
By the way. I expect to test the theory of you running a mile drunk for memorial day.
That freshman guy that keeps trying to hook up with me just saved someone's life ... Should I reconsider?
He referred to our sex as being similar to "Two cheetahs cage fighting" and I have to agree.
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
THIS IS THE 11TH FUCKING COFFEE TABLE THAT YOU AND RICHARD CRASHED THROUGH.
I'm surprised me and Richard survived 11 of your coffee tables.
YOU TWO ARE BUYING ME A NEW ONE I AM PISSED.
so on the street and some kid is chanting "cheeseburger, cheeseburger, cheeseburger!" while pumping his fist in the air. i agree.
Fucking hate kids. In particular I hate our kids.
Randomize
