Sooo... I woke up in the shower this morning. It was on.
youre lurking in front of me
Everytime we come here you have an ex here.
i kinda want to bang the mythbusters girl... i bet she's got a nice snapper
i found literally half of a double sided dildo in my shower. i guess someone went home happy.
he is so obsessed with the fact that he works at Apple
i know, its like he jerks off to steve jobs
I just saw a license plate that said "Guidete" at college. This proves the world is officially ending in 2012
Sorry for making you give strangers a ride for hits of acid.
theres a kid in a leopard robe and sunglasses filling up a gas tank. i miss college
You should make it a point to use vocabulary that is competition appropriate around him, like "champion" and "training" and "victory sex"
Is this the 6 foot tall blonde I screwed in the bar last weekend?
In the bar?! Very impressive! But keep guessing!
Didn't have the heart to tell him that while he was eating my ass I was laughing, not moaning, into the pillow
Also topless tea is a thing that happens in our apartment. Ready yourself.
That sounds worse than that time you thought out an entire story of how big bird would kill you
I am eating croutons on my bathroom floor. Are you happy?!
Randomize
