TBS has betrayed me by telling me tyler perry is funny
everytime she opens her mouth i wish that i was deaf
i'm drinking margaritas from a pouch...really dont think i'm in the position to judge anyone...
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
He asked me if the reason I slept around is because I grew up in a broken home. I am so done fucking Christians.
We passed out in his car so I had to find a way to inconspiciously make my walk of shame back inside to go get my shit. To make things more difficult I had no pants and the whole neighborhood was awake
Ok I've processed it. Who the fuck makes out drunk in a parking lot in a backseat with the windows down in the middle of the day?!?!
I saw a classic trojan enz laying on his desk. So he's probably not into the kinky shit.
I HAVENT SEEN A PENIS IN 5 WEEKS I REFUSE TO REMAIN CALM
Oh man
I hooked up with the lead singer of the band at the wedding. I am so hungover.
this is a PSA to never have sex in a bed from ikea
The kitchen also doubles as a screaming room after midnight as long as you have something to muffle the sound
Micheal let me call him captain america while we fucked. It was awesome
So I justmade it back home and was greeted to a squirrel in my dorm... Last time I let my friends rent it out for a party.
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