U r making out with a 12 year old get ur shit together
so i saw this homeless guy this morning yelling at a pay phone like chewbacca.
That's what you get for being in filth-adelphia.
I JUST GOT MY PERIOD AND MY VISA FOR LONDON GOT APPROVED! BEST DAY EVER!
I just rubbed my dick on something in your apartment. Can you guess what?
i woke up with a shattered plate next to my head.
So how do we make 4/20 better than every other day we are stoned?
you referred to yourself as the crossing guard because of your neon shirt and began directing bar traffic
No, I am not setting up my roomba to clean up puke.
If we try hard enough and believe in ourselves, we can still make it to Wendy's before they close
Um, It's tempting but I'm not into coke or farmers.
Woo is fucking right, dude. Vodka night tonight. Honestly, every night pretty much seeems like vodka night lately. My liver wants to move out of my body like I gave it an eviction notice.
I'm using emojis for drug deals now. It's time to kill me.
ALL I WANT IS SEMEN IN/ON/AROUND MY BODY. WHY IS HE MAKING THIS SO HARD.
So I think my neighbor's name is Olli if I'm hearing the girl the girl he's fucking clearly
It wasn't my fault.
You let her suck your neck. Yes it was your fault.
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