I dont understand how a fully grown man could convince himself that lime green crocks would look good on him.
Yeah. My legs are trembling...hard to walk. Feels like a neon arrow is pointing at me saying "just had sex (with not his wife)"
It's always exciting to touch a new boob.
Looks like I will be paying for the roofie I slipped myself in 9 months.
I am not old enough to be running into past fucks at the bank. This is at least a twenty five year old milestone.
I feel like college is just one giant drunken trip to Taco Bell
I just ate a can of beans for dinner so I can afford to go get a 5$ bottle of wine. I really did not think these choices would still be necessary at age 25.
It was a karaoke bar combined with a liquor store and had a donkey pen in the back.
Keeping it classy as usual I see
Did a bunch of gravity bongs and am watched hours of Frozen Planet. There is nothing in the world I want more than to hug a polar bear.
We need to figure out what we are doing for halloween asap. I'm not going out like a punk ass bitch burger king again this year.
My legs have surpassed "hairy" and entered the territory of "furry". Maybe I should just suck it up and shave already
No now I'm curious!
i asked him to talk to me in french while we fucked and halfway through i caught the word 'lasagna'. turns out he was making his grocery list.....i asked him to keep going.
He just started dry humping the air... I'm done
Me saying I wish i was a better person + me pretending I don't want to fuck on my period = me lying
We put you in the box and you started to cry, that's how high you were.
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