Boner jamz table deep. plus bar deep. wiing waing.
If I saw her on the street and didn't know about the two of them, I would think the only way she'd ever find love was if she somehow found her way to middle earth and an orc took her in
I feel like Captain Blackout doesn't do her justice. Brigadier General Blackout is much better.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Hey I never found my wallet but i did find a bag of 14 soft taco supremes
I have your wallet. Trade you for the tacos.
My grandma had to be escorted out by police.
I was very proud of myself that day. I had an awesome time. I don't care if I negatively impacted others.
I don't care if he got kidnapped by a cult one time he is a dick
I promised myself in the hospital that I would give up drinking for however long the cast stayed on. Thank god it was only soft tissue and not a fracture.
you said you didn't want to carry the pizza box so just folded up the pizza and put it in your pocket
He managed to find a wheel chair and a super mario hat, now hes rolling around screaming "real life mario kart!"
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
I CALLED IT A FRIENDSHIP. NOT A I WANT YOUR MAN PARTS IN MY LADY PARTS-SHIP.
My knees are skinned from sitting on someone's face on concrete
Right. He was like "I'll be here all night if I have to..." I was like "Well then, I'll have to call the cops..."
Randomize
