Well whatever you do have, it sure worked on me.
A Penis?
i barely touched his dick and all of a sudden he yells, "BONER!"
I wish Facebook had filters like: Ivy League school, frat boy, straight, extremely wealthy, great in bed.. I would check all of them
When the cops came you just told them you'd go to your time out corner.
i jsut feel off the bus, but its ok the driver let me back on. a woman hid her baby from me..
I said:" get your jacket, get your beer and get the fuck out of here"
Firing someone with a rhyme is the new high point in my life.
I got my project done and a booty call in all before 1am. I'm a professional college kid.
You called me at 4am shouting drunk shit about Poland and asking me to 'come out and play.' Where the fuck were you?
Poland
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Did you just send me an ass picture with a quote from the lion king?
What are you gonna do about it?
She said I had a really great aura. Which I think is hippie code for "I bet you can give me a mind melting orgasm"
the fact that i came three times was completely negated by the fact that he high-fived himself after.
Yeaaaaa...im super disgusted with myself lol...which is interesting, considering all of the things I have done in my life...
i'm the most scandalous girl at stop and shop. i kinda have to fuck him in the meat cooler.
Was cussing out our DD when one of the strippers takes him backstage. WTF
They call him magic hands is all I know.
Somethings are best left a mystery
Randomize
