They have glow in the dark condoms. That's so scary.
Something like a penis light saber.
She told me she got a 15 on her A.C.T.. that's when I knew it was a done deal.
do you know your status is "goal for vegas: hook up with a girl AND a boy"?
and THATS why i'm not adding my mom on facebook
there's something wrong with the internet when a search for "barney the dinosaur violence" comes up with nothing
You slept with a red coat way too close to independence day. It's just very unpatriotic.
We somehow managed to get the sumo-wrestler costume into the washing machine, but I don't think the cupcake icing completely came off... And it still smells like tequila.
WHY ARE YOU POKING HOLES IN MY 3AM LOGIC?!
Why is there a blood-covered "sorry about your stuff" note stapled to my door?
I'm at the bar alone. Is this how you feel?
You should have hard cock pics on hand to send in the situation that you can't stop driving, pull out your cock, browse the countless pics I've sent you of my tits, get him hard and text a pic through. I mean, it's simple sexting ettiquette.
SEXX, SEXX, SEXX,SEXX,SEX SEX SEXXXXXXX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEXSEX SEXSEXSEXSEXSEX.\nimagine that to the can can song. also come to my house. theres a dance routine.
Do you have any idea how hard it is to iphone keyboard type "roflcopter" when intoxicated?
Trust me. Drunk Scrabble is not a good idea. Arguments over the legitimacy of the word "Pickle" break out, things are said, friendships are ruined. It's ugly.
Reasons I shouldn't drink... My twitter drafts keep getting more and more emotional.
I took a dab in Denver and was I. Rocky Mountain national park almost to Wyoming before I realized I missed my turn.
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