You know you're true friends when you can talk about what sexual diseases you may or may not have.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
I puked all over his apartment, then slept with the skinniest girl here. Which isn't saying much in Ohio.
Feeling better?
I can stand long enough to do the dishes finally. Been trying that all day.
New level of stoned. My Terry's Chocolate Orange didn't 'whack-and-unwrap' so I ate it like an apple.
I had to feed him the pizza because he was too blazed to do it himself
We got hammered last night and I woke up this morning with texts from 'iron maiden chick.' wtf?
btw my ex came by last night and saw the pregnancy test intructions. awkwarrrrd.......
He would come to class in wrapped in nothing but a pink towel
On a separate note, I just found out some condoms aren't vegan. Problem.
Hahahaha I can't wait for you to ask "wait. are there any animal by products in that?"
I feel like you can't break up with someone on 420. It's against stoner code
He had a clap on lamp. So every time he was ramming into me, the lights kept turning on and off
You're the only person I know who would go to New Jersey to give a blowjob and I have so much respect for you for it
idk what happened last night but i just wokeup with nothing on but a necklace...what is this, the fucking titanic?
Bitch I slept on the ground 2 nights running
Randomize
