I'm not really that drunk, but I think vampires should glow in the dark because otherwise it's just unfair
Found more tequila
if I was a wizard from waverly place we wouldn't b having these problems
Thanks for making me watch you dance provacatively by yourself in the bathroom so you could see if you looked fat.
i find it simply astounding you spelled drunken wrong but pterodactyl right
we drove through mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu. We told the workers that were making Super Size Me 2, drove away without paying and told them to bill our producer.
Apparently, I woke up in the middle of the night, got up out of bed, dropped trou in the corner, squatted, and pissed on the carpet. When Eric heard, he thought it was the dog and started yelling, and I responded by saying "No no, its okay. It's me."
well he has a gf so if he picks me up tonight i'll only him finger me
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
I think we need to find a happy medium between fried food and dicks. This could end badly.
I'm not afraid to fist fight your child if I feel he is standing in between me and some tacos.
Think I can pull off edward 40 hands before class?
You might end up in the wrong class.
I'm a COM major, they're all the wrong class.
I was able to hide the fact that I had just shit in my pants, and then wupped her ass at FIFA
This little girl and her dad are walking behind me. "Why is he wearing pajamas?" Mind your own business, kid.
The smoothie place is closed, but the liquor store is open and wine is kinda like a smoothie.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
Randomize
