I prefer the term 'tenderly watching'
such a stalker...
she wanted to love me. she just didn't know it yet.
no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
Tonight's Real World episode reinforced the well-known fact that men of any caliber can hook up with girls named "Crystal"
I wonder if i passed any courses from last semester
you can officially check off peeing off the 5th floor while shouting "I want to break the guinness world record for longest piss stream" off your college to do list.
She's an honest to god fucking ballerina. She did things I don't have names for.
I rolled out of the car, crawled on all fours to the door, did somersaults all the way to my room, and then I ran across the parking lot to tell our neighbor you wanted to bang him. I'm not even sure if it was the right guy.
It's a journey
And the destination is his penis?
Precisely.
I have a 16 minute video of you talking about your life. We are calling it your Anthology sponsored by Steel Reserve
I hear fucking Christmas music. I'm going to find fucking Santa and tell him to suck a dick and shut up for the next month
Never should have deleted her from my facebook. My new girl is so much hotter than she is, I just want to passive aggressively rub it in her face
Stop jerking off to vines my recommended list on YouTube is getting weird.
Oh good, bag of butt plugs is in my predictive text now
Typing the whole thing out was getting to be such a chore
When we became besties with benefits we agreed I could still get dick
I didn't think I'd have to specify "not my Dad"
It’s amazing such a big dick belongs to such a boring guy
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