I was at the bar last night dancing, puking in a trash can, and ordering another drink all at the same time. Have I lost my dignity?
haha no as long as you did hook up with anybody after that.
... oops
Just spent five minutes taking pictures of my hands for some random guy.
Thanks for reminding me why I talk about you behind your back. Get laid.
Does slim fast make a chocolate heart for valentines? If so that's what she's getting.
Arguably, the best part was cockblocking those squirrels.
Drunk off five beers on a Tuesday. I'm not sure which part of that statement is more sad
You rolled out of the car, got on all fours and puked then just nonchalantly stood up and waved goodbye and thanks for the ride.
See this is what happens when we don't have sex everyday
I don't like finding out that my fuck buddy is a good person.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
im sorry but you know it was a good night when you got tasered on the ass and didnt even feel it
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
I think I sprained my soul last night
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
Sometimes I wish I could tell all my past/present hookups what the nicknames that my friends and I have assigned them.
On another note, I think my upstair neighbor is having sex. How awkward would it be if I showed up to her door with a bag of Chipotle?
Randomize
