There is a girl getting fingered on my left, a middle aged drink man smoking a bong and two girls flashing the cameras in front of me. I'm in the middle trying to maintain my innocence.
I caught myself masturbating while watching a baseball game today. It was over before I realized what was going on. And then I was just confused.
i love how people use prayer to talk shit about eachother in a 'holy' manner.
Your dick is once again the conversation topic.
the way i see it him paying 500 bucks for my fake abortion is karma's way of punishing him for cheating on his wife
Absence makes the cock grow harder.
You told them to let you give him stitches claiming you were a certified nurse because you've taken plant biology classes
I just took my birth control on the way to class with a 1/2 melted jello shot I happened to find in my purse from Friday night. I told you I was going hard this year.
Every part of me is in agreement...but mostly my vagina
I want you to come over here and spit coffee in my mouth like a momma bird feeding a baby bird. That hung over.
I didn't even realize I grinded on a security guard last night. Shit. Did he at least like it?
WHY ARE THERE NO BLACK EMOJIS? I CAN NEVER PROPERLY IDENTIFY MYSELF.
She called his dick the colossus. I dont give a fuck if shes his wingman, I gotta see this natural wonder
I am no longer drunk enough to crave tostitos
Last night’s booty call turned into a cuddlefest. Get your game face on, we’re hunting dick tonight
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