The night began with "let go home early so we can study for my 9am final" and ended with "show me your boobs for a free pack of gum".My breasts are worth 14 sticks for a dollar.
HOW IN THE HELL DID YOU BLOW A .24?????
We were watching I'm a celebrity get me out of here and taking shots every time heidi said HALLELUJAH, and started spraying her hair with that stupid dry shampoo shit....and we only watched the last half hour.
I just used Master P to describe what sound the letter U makes to my daughter...
When the phrase "Wow your huge" came out of her mouth I knew it was gonna be a good night.
I started the year with 2,800 dollars and am now down to 83 dollars-one of which i use to snort my focalin. I have given up on food and am perplexed as to how I can make 82 dollars last more than two weekends for booze
and then he proceeded to take what he called, a whip cream shower.
I was just compiling a top 5 blowjobs list and that's in there for sure.
best friends dont let best friends get an STD of the eyeball just saying
I guess? According to Jeff his mom is wondering when the grand babies will arrive. So I don't think they like ME so much as my supposed functioning uterus
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
I am on my way right now and I SWEAR TO GOD IF YOU EAT MY BURRITO YOU WILL NEVER SEE MY TITS AGAIN
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
After tacos, we're chasing women.
Dude, A DAMN CHEESEBURGER HIT ME IN THE FACE!!! WTF was i suppoused to do!?.
I just used a bag of jelly beans as an arm weight...I'm not sure what to think of myself
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