Afterall, it is the real San Francisco treat
Tip for today: never try to fart and swallow at the same time. You'll end up choking on whatever you are currently swallowing and shit yourself from the freakout of choking.
I just googled dawgpound, shoulda seen that pornsite coming
We had to be out of the dorms at 730. Meeting started at 8. I woke up at 948. Drunk and covered in glitter.
I wish i had a shirt that said, "I know what you're thinking and it's not herpes on my face"
I knew she was going to get knocked up just by looking at her facebook pics
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
This might sound awkward, but can I borrow a dildo for class?
What is the protocol for an "i'm sorry I had my ex retrieve me from the bar so I didn't drive drunk" blow job
I'm high and craving hash browns from McDonalds. Please pick me up. I also would like a hug and a supportive pat on the back when you get here. Thanks.
Its two in the afternoon. McDonalds don't sell hash browns at 2 in the afternoon. Whore. The hug I can provide however.
What the fuck could you be doing in that room to make her yell "Beginners Luck!" over and over again?
I'd risk everything I own for 10 min naked with her, 2 would be sex and the rest me crying like a little girl.
I didn't even know this guy existed until he'd had his hands down my pants, so I just went with it.
Why put me through the conflicting battle of being happy for your vagina but sad for my vagina for no reason ahole
I tried to suck your dick underwater and almost drowned
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