I have one brief flash of having his dick in my hand. that's all I remember.
I should be nowhere even remotely near facebook in this condition.
Sry I left before you woke up. The house was really fucked up and I didn't feel like helping you clean. PS Somebody threw up on your dog
You paid the taxi driver with a comb last night.
When she e-mailed me back asking for proof, complete with hospital intake records, I just told her it was a home-birth. I'm prepared to take the fail.
did i paint my nails blue or do i need to make a trip to the ER?
hes the hot one from work who thought i was dead after my party
He came, while we were making out fully clothed. I'm going to write a book.
Only once have I found myself in the condom aisle holding a bundt cake...
We team puked and then made sex like wild monkeys. If that isn't love, I don't know what is.
Good news. I heard back from the doctor and I don't have a liver problem.
...yet.
Someone shat in our tub last night. I'm not pointing fingers but you priors make you a prime suspect.
Just checked in with my friend who walked in on us. He thinks you two had a spiritual connection and he's bugging out
He was also rolling face on molly so his perception of divinity might be slightly off
You only have to pretend to care about soccer until July. HE'S PRETTY DONT RUIN THIS.
This is why you arnt allowed in pet stores
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