why did i save someone in my phone as corn dildo?
So my graduate coordinator is possible gay man. I may have just found the easiest way to a degree ever.
Good plan b, put your number on all your forms. Hello gamefull employment.
Take that integrity
she looks like stephen colbert with that blond wig he was wearing last night.
He called me from prison intake to wish me luck on my job interview. Somehow that's the most romantic thing that's ever happened to me.
All I remember was after sex she kept trying to take pictures of my dick "for memories"
I'm going to die alone in my chair and get eaten by my cat. That kind of break up.
It's like the sisterhood of the traveling vaginas over here
So the next three days will be henceforth known as the 'celebration of the end of the most irresponsible years of my life' be prepared to wake up naked in a ditch.
The shit I just took was four, very distinct colors. Jager night was a success
I just licked a piece of cheese off my phone screen if that makes you feel any better
Dreamt I had my own personal vibrator rep, who made house calls. I earned an upgrade to an electric model, since I was burning through batteries. That's it. Time for a bf.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
i've got three words. i. was. spanked.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
She pooped on me during a reverse cowgirl. And it wasn't a little bit either.
Randomize
