I'm not unpopping my collar. This shirt is too expensive to crease.
yay, now i'm not the only homewrecker.
yeah but i stopped sleeping with him after i found out he was married.
sooo i think when i get back from rothbury i should probably take a pregnancy test
but you would be showing by now. i'd just save the money and wait for a large crap in 6 months that starts crying. then you'll know.
what you doin?
I just woke up vomited poured myself a chocolate milk and turned on the peoples court. you?
reread what you just wrote and reconsider your entire life
I just picked up my chili cheese fries off the ground ate them, and then licked up the cheese that was still on the concrete. Thank you Jagerbombs
I was ready to fuck him until he pulled the "I might be bi curious" card. Now its turned into a guilt fuck. It's like he's a 3rd world child in need of a sexual orientation.
Yea. I couldn't get a job in fast food but I can teach Americas youth. The future looks great
the fat guy in me is very excited, and the skinny guy in me is very excited for the fat guy in me
If the Cards come back I will fly to St Louis and shit in a very public place.
If you set your screensaver to be a slides show, make sure you remove dick pics first. This lesson 1 of living with your great aunt
You knocked on your freshman year room door, told the kids who opened it "I own you", and attempted to force-feed them everclear.
He said it wasn't ladylike of me to drink more whiskey than him. I told him to stop being a little bitch.
I got caught throwing up in my daughters princess potty... On the bright side it played a rewarding tune afterwards.
Ex-boyfriend shit on a ping pong table at a party last night. Taking "party pooper" to a whole new level.
i gave head in a cab last night. get on my level.
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